Are you lesbian, gay, bi or trans? Hey, you are not alone!

Place to hang-out and chat, and for discussions that don't fit anywhere else.

Moderators: Baker, FranW, ElaineB, PaulaO

Are you lesbian, gay, bi or trans? Hey, you are not alone!

Postby ElaineB » 05 Oct 2010, 01:32

OK, we've been talking about the number of gay teens committing suicide and I thought it might be nice to offer some links and support of a positive nature to those who come here via Google or other weird link.

Proofrdr posted this cool site: Everyoneisgay.com and some neat videos from the It Gets Better Project on YouTube. Check it out.

And if you found us by Googling around, welcome. If you have questions, ask away. Yeah, ya gotta be a certain age to join, but maybe others can post questions or tell their story and maybe that will help. Because, you see, you are important to us, even if we don't know you. We've all been through it, maybe some still are, and at some point or other we all have to face the crap even if we've been out for years, because some homophobic relative or coworker or road-rage idiot crawls out of the woodwork and we feel like we're back to square one.

Thing is, we can help each other. It happens here all the time. Check out the posts. We laugh, we cry, we get mad. But we want to help.

So spread the word. It is OK to be gay. You are not alone. If it sucks now, please don't give up because it does get better!

So add more links here, tell your story...
User avatar
ElaineB
Heartbeat of the forum
Heartbeat of the forum
 
Posts: 6625
Joined: 23 Mar 2010, 01:11
Location: Massachusetts, USA

Re: Are you a lesbian? Hey, you are not alone!

Postby deej » 05 Oct 2010, 01:51

Elaine excellent idea. I love this thread and yeah, we might be able to help, at least we can share the pain, and maybe, just maybe we can give you hope if you give us a chance.

If you're reading this, please remember one thing if you're thinking about suicide, there is no do-over. Death really is final. I know the pain you're feeling and I understand it's all encompassing, but it will pass, with a little time. Share that time with friends, find new friends if the old ones don't understand, or talk with a school teacher, councilor or a youth group leader. Across the country there are people you can reach out to and if you can't find them, go to your local library. Use the computer there for privacy and do some research. There are groups in every state that will offer help, and privacy if that's important. Just please reach out.

Like Elaine suggested, join us. There are women and some men of all ages on this group, and I can assure you, many of us have been where you are now, maybe even in a darker place.
Raise your hand if someone you know is alive today because you can't afford a hit man.
User avatar
deej
Heartbeat of the forum
Heartbeat of the forum
 
Posts: 10706
Joined: 19 Mar 2010, 11:16
Location: Pennslyvania, USA

Re: Are you lesbian, gay or trans person Hey, you are not al

Postby Sacchi » 05 Oct 2010, 02:46

Great idea, Elaine.
User avatar
Sacchi
Heartbeat of the forum
Heartbeat of the forum
 
Posts: 2143
Joined: 25 Mar 2010, 10:13
Location: Western Massachusetts

Re: Are you lesbian, gay or trans person Hey, you are not al

Postby PaulaO » 05 Oct 2010, 02:59

I'd like to add this:

Yeah, those who committed suicide lately are getting national, even global, media attention. Yeah, that would be cool for them. Except they're dead. In a few months, while the anti-suicide and support continues for those still around, people will be forgetting those dead boys. Their names will fade from memories of the general public. Their families will live on with the guilt, the sadness, the constant questions. Your pain will stop but theirs will continue for the rest of their lives.

Fame ain't worth shit if you're dead. Don't add your name to the list thinking you'll be famous. All your name will get is a few weeks of people knowing it then it will be shuffled off to a Wikipedia article to use as reference. But it won't matter how famous your name will get. You won't know about it anyway 'cause you'll be dead.

Want to be famous while you can still enjoy it? Then do something. Stand up, now. Tell adults or people you trust what is going on. Demand they do something about it. Demand you get the help you need. It is your right to do so. If that adult won't or can't help, go to another. And another. Don't give up! We can't stop bullying if we don't know who they are. We know the face of those being injured. We need to know who the bullies are, who the homophobes are. We need to put faces to the concept of someone so twisted and mean that they would bully to the point someone kills themselves.

SPEAK UP. STAND UP.

It's your life so keep it around a while longer. Once help is on the way, and things are being done, keep standing up. Keep telling your story. A kid just like you (and there are far too many of you) needs to hear it. He can't hear it if you're dead. Dead is final. You don't respawn, you don't rez, you can't talk to a Spirit Healer and get your body back. Be the person that kid remembers for the rest of his life, the one who shared his story, the one that helped him get through another day, and another until he is strong enough to continue on his own. Make a freakin' You Tube video and tell the entire world your story. Be famous by surviving.

You help no one with your death. But you can help yourself and so many others by sticking around. You have immense potential. Don't let the bullies win by convincing you otherwise.
Last edited by PaulaO on 05 Oct 2010, 06:37, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: corrected typo
Take a deep breath and count to zen.
User avatar
PaulaO
Heartbeat of the forum
Heartbeat of the forum
 
Posts: 4793
Joined: 22 Mar 2010, 13:24
Location: Leicester NC USA

Re: Are you lesbian, gay, bi or trans? Hey, you are not alon

Postby deej » 05 Oct 2010, 03:54

Wow Paula, well said, thank you. :bow: :bow: :bow:
Raise your hand if someone you know is alive today because you can't afford a hit man.
User avatar
deej
Heartbeat of the forum
Heartbeat of the forum
 
Posts: 10706
Joined: 19 Mar 2010, 11:16
Location: Pennslyvania, USA

Re: Are you lesbian, gay, bi or trans? Hey, you are not alon

Postby Sacchi » 05 Oct 2010, 04:56

Speaking of fame, I don't know if helps to realize that the bullies are often mainly after fame, but it's true. Fame, power, a place in the "pecking order" that they don't know how to get any other way. It's not necessarily personal, but it's stupid and cruel and says more about the bully than the bullied. And the lust for fame has expanded with the potential audience online. Kids even make videos of themselves doing stupid, dangerous, and illegal things and post them in public. That's bad enough, but to scrabble for their two minutes of fame by invading someone else's privacy just adds cowardice to their list of faults.
User avatar
Sacchi
Heartbeat of the forum
Heartbeat of the forum
 
Posts: 2143
Joined: 25 Mar 2010, 10:13
Location: Western Massachusetts

Re: Are you lesbian, gay, bi or trans? Hey, you are not alon

Postby deej » 05 Oct 2010, 05:17

This is a video for the Project "Its Get's Better" hopefully everyone has heard of it by now.

What makes this video special is it's directed at the Bullies and the message is "Living long and well is the best revenge."

Raise your hand if someone you know is alive today because you can't afford a hit man.
User avatar
deej
Heartbeat of the forum
Heartbeat of the forum
 
Posts: 10706
Joined: 19 Mar 2010, 11:16
Location: Pennslyvania, USA

Re: Are you lesbian, gay, bi or trans? Hey, you are not alon

Postby FranW » 05 Oct 2010, 06:39

I'd add:
One of the overwhelming feelings is that no one will understand, no one will ever accept you. Not even adults. Maybe especially adults.

Those of us who are fifty-ish probably won't ever understand why you need to wear your pants so low that the crotch hangs at your knees and prevents you from walking, or why you drive your car with the seat tilted back so far you can't see over the steering wheel, or why you listen to music that is, um....not very musical. But we do understand about not fitting in, about loving someone of the same sex as yourself, about being confused and unsure, about wondering if you're in the wrong body, about feeling as if you are as horrible as everyone tells you that you are.

Find us. We're everywhere. We do understand. And we will help. The GLBTQ community takes care of its own.

If the choice you have is between killing yourself to end it all, and running away to start over: run away. Email one of us. We'll find you somewhere to run, someone to run to.
No on H8
User avatar
FranW
Heartbeat of the forum
Heartbeat of the forum
 
Posts: 7084
Joined: 20 Mar 2010, 10:00

Re: Are you lesbian, gay, bi or trans? Hey, you are not alon

Postby deej » 05 Oct 2010, 06:53

Absolutely right Fran, thank you. :-)
Raise your hand if someone you know is alive today because you can't afford a hit man.
User avatar
deej
Heartbeat of the forum
Heartbeat of the forum
 
Posts: 10706
Joined: 19 Mar 2010, 11:16
Location: Pennslyvania, USA

Re: Are you lesbian, gay, bi or trans? Hey, you are not alon

Postby ElaineB » 05 Oct 2010, 07:48

Yeah, I remember thinking life as I knew it was over. That to be a lesbian meant I had to lose my sense of humor (seriously, I really thought that until I went to a Kate Clinton concert). I went through hell wondering who the hell I was and what would become of me. I did have the thought, if it gets too bad, just run away. I knew I'd try that before anything more drastic.

The good thing about coming out years ago was that it tended to happen later in life. I can only imagine trying to go through that self-realization in high school or younger. The downside of back then was no Ellen Degeneres or Rosie O'Donnell. We had no Internet to find others or help. I scrounged bookstores for free gay newspapers and ended up going to Daughters of Bilitis meetings. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. But I was old enough to drive and didn't live in the sticks. I had options.

But I made it. I eventually (yesterday, in fact no not really) realized that you can still laugh and be gay (ironically), that for every friend you lose, you'll find three new ones, and, most important, after you get a few years under your belt, all that angst recedes into nothing but great fodder for fiction!

Seriously, the best revenge is a life well lived.

If you are too young to join, you can still read these posts. If you have a question, just hit the email button on anyone's post and send a message! Really, we are worldwide here. Someone, somewhere can help you.
User avatar
ElaineB
Heartbeat of the forum
Heartbeat of the forum
 
Posts: 6625
Joined: 23 Mar 2010, 01:11
Location: Massachusetts, USA

Next

Return to General Chat

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron