Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

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Re: Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

Postby Baker » 14 May 2013, 14:18

When I read this, I thought of you, Proof:

(And can I just say, for the record, and for the benefit of whatever NBC web editors may be dropping by, that I needed a pair of pruning shears to get through this sentence: "Paul's speech doubled at times as a comedy scene, as he seemed at ease before the crowd, stepping away from the podium, microphone in hand, to project a casual demeanor." Good lord, people. Commas are not anti-personnel mines.)

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Re: Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

Postby Proofrdr » 14 May 2013, 23:38

rofl The laughter is both for the sentence and for its making you think of me!
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Re: Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

Postby Proofrdr » 28 May 2014, 02:02

Sentences like this commonly crop up in newspapers. Yes, they drive me crazy.
The rooftop of the tony Waldorf-Astoria hotel with some of the best views in the city has been provided with a hive for a swarm of about 16000 bees after being evicted from a tree on the Upper West Side on Monday to a five star hive.

I understand the need to put all the main ideas into the first sentence of a news article, but they have to make sense.

Using the same words: On Monday, after being evicted from a tree on the Upper West Side, a swarm of about 16000 bees has been provided with a hive on the rooftop of the tony Waldorf-Astoria hotel with some of the best views in the city.

I would change the verb to was moved to and the prepositional phrase to a demonstrative clause that has some of the best . . .
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Re: Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

Postby Baker » 28 May 2014, 08:44

Ugh. I wonder if the idea was to hit people with the posh hotel name straight off as a point of interest?
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Re: Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

Postby Proofrdr » 28 May 2014, 12:37

I'm sure that was the idea, but even that could have been done better. I don't think newspaper editors edit anything but the first, editorial, and op-ed pages.
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Re: Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

Postby Baker » 30 May 2014, 07:55

I suspect you're correct. I wonder, too, if we're becoming inured to lack of editing and proofing since most of the material online--blog posts, etc--we read are unedited? (Oh, and most people won't be quite as alert to poor grammar and useage as, say, you.)
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Re: Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

Postby Proofrdr » 30 May 2014, 10:06

I just think language should make sense, Baker. That's the whole purpose of communication. If what we say isn't what we mean, then how can we relate to one another on a logical level?
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Re: Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

Postby Baker » 31 May 2014, 09:54

Do you ever text, Proof?
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Re: Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

Postby Proofrdr » 31 May 2014, 11:49

Not if I can help it. lol
But it's not because of the truncated spelling or the crapacious grammar. If I had a tablet, I might text more, but my problem is that I have large finger pads and difficulty seeing those damned little keys on my phone.
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Re: Grammar & Usage from an Editor's POV

Postby Baker » 01 Jun 2014, 09:27

;)
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